Yesterday was a week since surgery. 7 days but it feels like it was a month ago. It’s been a rough week. I’m tired of being in pain. It’s been almost 12 weeks that I’ve been dealing with this hip/leg. I’m trying to not let myself get down but I get very irritated and even less patient when I’m in pain. I’ve not had an operation where I’m still in this much pain after 8 days. Even with two c-sections, a hysterectomy, and multiple wrist surgeries I wasn’t having to take prescription pain killers every 4 hours this long after surgery to control the pain. The only thing that feels better is laying flat. I can’t stand sitting around when I know that the kitchen needs to be cleaned or the laundry needs to be folded. I hate knowing I’m just sitting around gaining weight because I can’t get up and exercise. Food just tastes so much better when you’re depressed. You would think that I would eat less food since it’s so much work to fix something to eat…it takes forever to get out my chair, wheel myself into the kitchen, stand up to get something out of the fridge, wheel it over to the microwave, stand up to put it in the microwave, wheel over to the bowls, fix a drink, find a tray and put it on my lap, put my food and drink on the tray, and risk spilling everything while wheeling back into the living room. I miss going out to eat lunch downtown. I wish I could just get in my car and drive somewhere, like Starbucks for a vanilla latte or to Target to buy something…anything.
Ok, ok…enough with the pity party. I told myself that I will try to appreciate the good things that are coming out of this, even if it’s tough. So…I like the money that I’m saving by not being able to drive somewhere, like Starbucks or Target. I have an excuse to sit on the couch all day and do nothing. I like having my meals (when I’m not home alone) delivered to me on a tray. Even though I rarely cooked before, now I have an excuse to not have to cook! I like having time to watch movies on Netflix and binge watch series of tv shows. Yesterday my parents wheeled me around the Southern Christmas Show. I’ve never been in a wheelchair in public before. Even though the reason was that they probably felt sorry for me, but every single person that I met eyes with smiled at me. I thought it would bother me for thinking that everyone was feeling sorry for me, but it actually felt good to have that many people smile at me. I’m glad that I’m (hopefully) on the downside of this recovery. Waiting for surgery and having surgery is behind me so now I’m just one step closer to getting back to normal, as long as everything heals as it should.
Hope for a better 2nd week of recovery!